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Dogs are NOT Fashion Accessories

May 13th, 2010

I’m going to do something I’ve never done before,  I’m going to post a question from this month’s Psych-O Analysis Newsletter.  I’m doing this because I was besieged by the readers telling me to blog this for everyone’s benefit.  Here goes…

Q:  What do you think about strollers and dog bags for small dogs?  I have a Peke and love taking her everywhere in her dog purse.  I just love her little head peeking out of the purse.  My friend’s dog was trained by you and she and I had a disagreement about Cin-Cin being carried in her purse when we go out.  I think it’s just fine.  She said I should get your opinion. Kimi W., NY

A: I’m going to do this.  I know I shouldn’t.  I know I will get into trouble, but I cannot help myself.  Yep…here goes.

Honey, put the dog on the ground, throw out the purse, and drop the diminutive of your name.  Grow up (regardless of your current age), let the dog be a dog and stop insisting it’s a fashion accessory.

To all you women out there with names such as, Lori, Lisa, Kimberly, Patti, Michelle, Cyndi, Tammi, Sherri, Jacquie, Stephie, or any derivation thereof, who in any manner emulate the following pictures, please…get help.  Intervention programs may help you and your dog will be much happier.

You are not, you never were, nor will you ever BE the conspicuously rich air-heads  you see here.  Your dog cannot make you seem as if you are, or will be, a social power.

Look at the relative age of these “women”.  They still carry pacifiers and haven’t developed breasts.  They can’t think beyond themselves.  LOOK at that dog.  Does he LOOK HAPPY?  If the twit in the picture was three years old you, as a sane and responsible adult, would tell her she was not to carry the dog around in that manner.  Woman!  Heed the advice!  Don’t carry your dog!

I’m sorry, but the woman on the left does not look so much as if she cares for her dogs, so much as she resembles a nymphet in a porn movie ad for “Deidre Does Dachsies”.

You never know the looks that go on behind your back.  Take my word for it, if you are over eight years old, don’t try to carry your dog.

 

 

Carrying  your dog in a backpack does not mean you are active.  It does not mean that you can bike or run faster than your dog as you are, somehow, an Olympic contender.

It simply means you are too lazy to walk the dog or teach it to jog next to your bike.  It also means you are too self-absorbed to slow down and think about your dog.  Which, in case you’ve missed the point I’m attempting to make, is what this entire issue is about.

Dogs are not colorblind and can see in pastels.  However, that does not give you license to opt for bags, first and foremost, and definitely not bags of neon colors which are merely to call attention to the fact that you are carrying a dog.

Look at the faces of these dogs, they are NOT happy.  Stop being so unaware of the misery you are causing.

The woman who did this to this dog should be placed in residential treatment.  The dog’s eyes look as if he’s on crack.

Hyper, trapped, never exercised all to feed the ego of some frou-frous female.  These are the women who ‘do’ dog parks, cell phones, and low-fat lattes—SIMULTANEOUSLY.

These are the dogs that are insufferable because of the hubris of their human.

Your dog is NOT a baby.

Your dog is NOT a toy.

Your dog is NOT a fashion accessory.

Your dog is NOT an inanimate object.

Your dog is NOT a sop for your fragile self-esteem.

So my advice?

 

Put down the dog and no one will get hurt!

(First Photo: Jaime Rodriguez/Globe Photos; Clinton H. Wallace/Globe Photos; Sonia Moskowitz/Globe Photos)

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Comments

  1. From Meg, May 13, 2010:

    OMG, lol. I’ve seen women who do this to their dogs. Bubble-headed streaked “blondes”, that’s what they are. They can be snotty, too. Their dogs are awful. You see them in the malls, dog parks, at cafes. They are trying so hard to be cute, sexy, special. It’s sad.

  2. From Kathlyn Ganas, May 15, 2010:

    I admit, I have not been on this webpage in a long time… however it was another joy to see It is such an important topic and ignored by so many, even professionals. I thank you to help making people more aware of possible issues.

  3. From Dorothea Kochheiser, May 19, 2010:

    great post, i hope you keep it up!

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    Your blog is interesting, I will come back again.

  7. From Kendal Stiverson, June 16, 2010:

    Great article.

  8. From Cindy, July 5, 2010:

    LMAF!! You have hit the nail on the head once again. People who put their pets in carriers do so because they are too lazy to teach the dog to walk and be a normal, well behaved dog. I’ve seen way too many small dogs just like these. It’s one thing to have a “carrier” of some sort for a dog who physically can no long walk and quite another to have one so you can have an “accessory” along.

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  11. From boxer dog training, October 21, 2010:

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  12. From rosa, October 22, 2010:

    thanks for the laugh. all those pictures made me lol. poor dogs. that little white one being carried made me laugh so hard, and I felt sorry for him at the same time. he is a real cutie.

    personally no one I have ever seen does that around here, that must be just in the richy rich areas of the country. maybe hollywood? new york? some other rich areas? we are just middle class around here, maybe middle of the middle.

    Rosa

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  38. From Sara, March 6, 2011:

    When I grew up the only dogs like this were owned by old trailer park women – how the same thing is not considered chic I don’t know. I don’t suppose it’s anyone else’s business if they also want to wear rhinestone glasses, dusters with curlers in their hair and disposable adult diapers as a fashion statement, but in this case, they are harming living creatures who will most probabably take our their frustrations on people.

    I say the little idiots should have a day of clemency, such as herion addicts or gun owners. Bambi can turn in her purebred mixed breed toy dog in exchange for their choice some Old ladie’s inanimate fashion which she no longer needs.

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