At any given time I have several dogs in my house. I attempt, valiantly, to keep it clean. I think, however, it’s a Pyrrhic battle. No matter how hard I try, I find dog hair on everything.
Recently, with our sub-zero weather and deep snow, the dogs have been inside much more than usual. This has led to an over-abundance of dog hair.
Dog hair is an interesting thing. For instance, if you want to know which vacuum cleaner is truly the best, ask a person with multiple dogs. I have, personally, killed three different brand name vacuums over the years. The average life-span of a vacuum in a multiple-dog house is a year. I even killed a shop-vac in my attempt to keep dog hair at a minimum.
I am constitutionally incapable of wearing clothes that do not have dog hair clinging to them. I should have invested in stock in those rollers to de-hair things. I’d be rich by now.
I lock up, put away, and seal things, and still they have dog hair on them. I knew it was a losing battle when I found dog hair in sealed items from the grocery store.
Most people get lint in their dryer. I don’t. I get fluffed dog hair. I did the laundry the other day and upon shaking my clothes, a blizzard of hair floated around me. That’s when it hit me. I didn’t need to buy a new vacuum annually. I didn’t need to “roll” the hair off of my clothes. I simply needed to accept the situation for what it is and find the positive in it. If I was going to have hair on the floor and pounds of it fell off equivalent to a small dog, at least it was a clean small dog.
God obviously wanted me to accept the gift of dog hair he was sending, so who was I to refuse? So I began to view dog hair in a positive light.
Here, then, are the top ten positives of dog hair.
- You won’t have to admit you have gray hair, blame it on your white dog
- You won’t need to buy wall-to-wall carpet, just wash and shake clothes and the hair will float to the floor as if you were a fairy throwing rose petals
- The shaking of number 2 is an aerobic workout and will improve your over-all health
- You won’t need to purchase thermal underwear
- If you’re into haute couture, tell people your sweaters are ”mo’ hair’.
- Save the dryer lint and use, or sell, it as insulation (R factor 45)
- People will think all dogs love you (which translates to a “good” person) as dogs flock to smell you. (This is particularly important if you are a FedEx, UPS, or Postal Service employee)
- If you are a hunter, it is great camouflage
And the final two most important positive things about dog hair are:
9. No one has ever said a bad word against a person’s housekeeping abilities at their funeral
10. If God had wanted you to clean house, he wouldn’t have sent you a dog.